A worm in Light's Apple?
by Missymysto
Summary: So this is a Death Note fanfiction, obviously. Just want to say hi, and check this out so you can rofl just like I did :D So read and review! Bye!
1. Light

It was a normal day for our lovely friend Kira, aka Light Yagami or Light I'm-a-Gay.

He was talking to Ryuk while (epicly) eating a bag of sour cream and onion potato chips.

"You should try these apples, Light," Ryuk said, greedily gobbling armfuls of the sweet fruit, "They're so juicy!"

Light frowned.

"Well you should try potato chips, Ryuk.

They taste really good, and -" he took a massive bite of a big chip, spraying small pieces of chip every where "-and, they're so crunchy."

At this point the two had mutually decided to make a trade, but before they could swap their treats the doorbell rang.

Light sighed, thoroughly disappointed that he couldn't show his shinigami the joys of eating a potato chip.

He walked to the door and was very confused at the fact that there was nobody there.

"Look down," Ryuk said.

Looking at his feet, his eyes fell on a package marked 'From an anti-fan'.

Light shrugged and was about to chuck the 'gift' out when Ryuk stopped him.

"Wait! Those are apples in there! I could smell them a mile away!"

As the shinigami went on about the ultimate amazing ness of apples, Light ripped the package open to find... Lo and behold, apples!

"Try one, Light. Tell me how good they are!" Light hesitantly grabbed the fruit, holding it in his hand.

"Okay..." He took a bite of the apple and looked down at the half eaten thing.

*.*.*

You know that joke?

Here, I'll tell it to you.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half a worm!

*.*.*

Outside the Yagami household, two Light anti-fans were laughing their head off.

(*)

Tell me you were not laughing through that! :D

Haha I had so much fun; I hope you guys liked it!


	2. Mello

Mello was seething.

A red, fiery anger was bubbling up inside of him and that angry volcano was just about to burst.

But why was he angry?

Somebody had stolen his secret stash of chocolate.

Now, everybody at Whammy's knew not to mess with Mello, let alone his chocolate, so who could have committed such a terrible crime?

Mello knew.

It was that blasted sheep Near.

Storming into his room, Mello was just about to yell at Near for stealing his chocolate when he realised that Near wasn't there.

Later, he would find him sitting innocently in the garden playing with his beloved toy robot, but for now Mello needed to find his missing food.

*.*.*

He walked into the kitchen a few minutes later, having given up on finding his secret stash.

Mello opened the fridge to find all of his chocolate... In a spinach smoothie.

*.*.*

Playing amongst the grass, Near and two fan girls laughed at Mello's girly scream.

(*)

The next chapter will be up _**very soon**_. As in, half an hour away, so get ready because coming up next is... Near!


	3. Near

Near had gotten a gift, and it wasn't even his birthday.

However Near didn't appreciate it one bit.

Being the genius he was, he didn't trust this present.

He looked at the seemingly innocent wrapping paper, a pink and black pattern with white sheep on it, and decided that he would chuck it out; however he stopped himself before he could.

There could be anything in that package.

A bomb, a gun; the possibilities were endless, and all of them could end his life.

He made a blank face and gave it a death stare - for a normal person it would be a death glare - before turning to the bodyguards and saying in his bored monotone, "Dispose of it."

The guards did just that, shooting it until it was almost all holes.

What he saw almost had him show emotion, and that was an impressive feat for Near.

Near picked up the ruined gift and only just managed not to burst into tears right then and there as he looked over his toy robot, now filled with thousands of tiny holes.

*.*.*

In Near's room Mello was talking about how he had finally gotten revenge on Near for stealing his beloved chocolate, while the two girls tried not to laugh.

"Do you think we were too mean this time?" One girl said to the other. They exchanged glances.

"_Nah_."

(*)

Aww.

_I_ think they were too mean, you guys probably do too.

Who's the mean author who wrote this terrible piece?

Being serious, I need to try harder! I like Mello's girly screams and all but this is a _comedy_, not a tragedy!

I need to stop killing off important characters like Near's poor robot! :(

Anyway guys, bye till next time; Matsuda!


	4. Matsuda

The task force were doing policish stuff when the phone rang and Matsuda picked it up.

A girl's voice came through. "Who is the prime Kira suspect?"

"Light Yagami!" Matsuda said stupidly.

"Thank you for your time," she said, and hung up, however not before hearing the classic "Matsuda, you idiot!"

(*)

This one's really short but I had to prove how dumb poor Matsuda really is :P

Until next time; Look out for L!


	5. Panda-Man

L was staying up late, as he usually did. Well, obviously, he was an insomniac.

But this time L wasn't doing pointless research, for somebody had stolen his cake.

This was a true crime, even worse than those the killer Kira had committed.

Somebody had taken his cake. **_HIS_** cake.

Who would be so evil as to do something like this?

The worst thing was that L didn't know.

So he picked himself up off his comfortable armchair and began his search.

Under the bed.

No, no cake there.

In the wardrobe.

Nope, nothing.

Behind this book over here?

No. L knew that these places were illogical, but he didn't care.

He needed his cake!

He continued searching.

Behind the computer.

In the crack between a chair and the wall.

Even in a tissue box.

Nothing, nada, nill.

No cake! He gave up and went to sit on his chair again but stopped.

On it lay a silver platter.

A shiny, beautiful silver platter, with a small ugly little thing.

The last crumb of his cake. Next to it was a sign.

'The cake is a lie.'

(*)

In the end, for L... *sniffles* it really was all for nothing :(

Hey guys! I'm sorry I haven't been updating as often, but I've been caught up with my Vampire Knight fic (check it out and leave a review! :) and haven't had the time.

But guys, here it is and I hope you enjoyed!

I'm actually not sure who I'll be trolling next, but stick around to find out! (;


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